Successful sleep training is a process that requires willingness and commitment. Ideally from both parents. So, I urge you to get your partner involved with sleep training.
Over the years, I’ve had the privilege of working with a wide variety of people and family structures. When I enter the scene, families are usually in a vulnerable, sleep-deprived state. This allows me to quickly see how they work as a unit and understand their parenting styles.
And even though, family structure has become more varied over the years, one thing remains – one parent generally takes on more responsibility with their child’s sleep than the other. The way this looks is different for every family. It can be almost equally split (45/65) or there can be one parent responsible for bathing, feeding, bedtime, and everything in-between.
Sleep Training is a Commitment
As long as two people reach an agreement on how to raise their family, they can make it work. A 50/50 split of responsibilities isn’t required but sleep training can be tough if only one person is undertaking the whole process alone.
Plus, families often start sleep training when they are overtired, so it’s a prime time to support and lean on each other. Sleep training takes patience and commitment. Another huge component is consistency and if only one partner is involved, it’ll be tougher to stay the course.
So secondary caregiver, here is your chance to shine. There is no greater way to reach your partner’s heart than helping them get a full night’s sleep. No fancy dinners or expensive gifts can compare. Sleep is the most amazing and coveted gift you could give your partner.
Psst… it also a gift to you. Just think of how you both interacted before you were sleep-deprived.
Advice for Your Partner
Feel free to forward this post to your partner to help them know how to get involved.
My main piece of advice – jump out in front of the problem. Tell your partner that you’re there for them and want to tackle sleep training together. There is nothing sexier than waking up to a baby’s cries and seeing your partner roll out of bed, telling you to go back to sleep because they got this!
- It’s not an easy process. Sleep training will be a challenge. There will be times of doubt and a bit of crying.
- Despite being challenging, my clients inform me that they would do it again in a heartbeat.
- Be willing to step up and roll out of the bed.
- You may have to assure your partner that you’ve got this. They may not be used to you taking an active role in your little one’s sleep routine.
Advice for the Primary Caregiver
Take this time to support one another. This may be tough, but let your partner take an active role in this process by giving up veto power when it comes to baby-centered decisions.
I know sometimes it feels easier to do it alone. In the beginning at my house, I took on most of the responsibilities at night, because I wanted at least one of us sleeping. But if you work together and support one another for the first few days of sleep training, you will see a huge difference. Plus, your baby will start sleeping through the night and you will both be having a full night’s sleep.
Also, even though you and your partners have established this family together, you’ll both parent a bit differently. And, it can be hard as a primary caregiver to resist hovering and giving feedback. Support him or her by having confidence in their abilities. Resist micromanaging because that usually results in your partner giving up and saying, “You do it, then”.
Value your partner’s input. There is someone eager and willing to help you during these early years. They will establish an amazing bond with your little one. They will have their own inside jokes and routines with him or her. It will be precious and adorable, savor it.
The Results of Partnering Together
Sleep training will be a life-changing decision for your little family. Not only is your baby going to sleep through the night, but both parents as well. Plus, you’ll be committing to do this together and that will create a united and stronger relationship.
You are going to learn how to support one another during some tough times. You are taking a problem that could put a lot of strain on a relationship and tackling it together.
Also, remember that your sleep coach will be there to help. We want to see you succeed.
If you’ve just started thinking about sleep training and haven’t committed yet, feel free to schedule a free 20 min chat with us at the link below. We can help you understand sleep training more and answer any of your questions.